For Such A Worm As I

Wintertide Tractations: Mend Start. Mend is a beautiful word.  It makes me think of something that was once new and shiny and attractive that somehow broke, or became old, or unattractive, and is now under repair by one who sees the potential it still holds.  Throughout my life mending has been a part of our family's common practice. My mother used to say that when Kyrie was small she thought Mama could fix anything with Duct-tape .  Kyrie herself inherited the "mending gene" plus a huge combination of compassion and insight into the unseen "gold-mine below the surface" in any given cast-off. I've been thinking of mending in a spiritual sense alot lately.  Friends who I had such confidence in, brothers in Christ whom I'd grown with, whom I respected...they're in need of mending.  A couple whose marriage is in tatters.  A little child I know, broken in heart by parents who made foolish decisions, now trying to figure out how to live "life in the ...

Wintertide Tractations: Gold When I consider the word "gold", the recent happenings of this Christmas season come to mind.  First, I had the great privilege of being home and with my family for this blessed time.  The Grandparents' house was the perfect gathering place for four of my cousins and their broods over the holiday and it was delightful having them in the neighborhood and filling the dear place with laughter and chatter.  As I got to spend time with them, it was pure gold.  I watched one of my cousins interacting with her husband and smiled inside.  He made a joke which few seemed to catch, but her head went back in amusement; she got it, she understood him.  What a satisfied feeling to get to see the product of the Lord's arranging marriage.  Another golden nugget was getting to meet with Treasure who was in the state for Christmas.  She moved last year or so to serve the Lord in Houston and any time she's back visiting her family, we t...

Wintertide Tractations: Supply Start. My dear pastor, Bro. Earl, loaned me an incredible treasure: his brand-new hymnal from Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, CA, Hymns of Grace .    Wow! Can I just say, this is a goldmine of theologically-deep hymns, both ancient and new!  I keep discovering one beautiful hymn after another, as well as some I already knew. One of my favorites is the hymn "My Shepherd, You Supply My Need" by Isaac Watts.  Here are the words: My Shepherd, You supply my need; most holy is Your name. In pastures fresh You make me feed, beside the living stream. You bring my wandr'ing spirit back when I forsake Your ways, And lead me, for Your mercy's sake, in paths of truth and grace. When I walk through the shades of death, Your presence is my stay; One word of Your supporting breath drives all my fears away. Your hand, in sight of all my foes, does still my table spread; My cup with blessings overflows, Your oil anoints my head. The sure pro...

Wintertide Tractations: Remain Start. Faithfulness has been on my mind alot lately.  My rough definition of the word would be:       tenacity; the resolve to remain in a state or under a certain command;  to continue allegiance despite difficulty; to take action to protect or promote the welfare or good name of that to which the allegiance is applied.   At times as I (in my mind) have looked out over the crowd of friends and family members I know and love, or as I have made acquaintance with new people, classmates, etc., my mind has touched on the idea of remaining.   Will Pete remain at church? or will he quit coming and give up on the Lord in his personal life?  Will Grey and Ann remain faithful, remain married, or will they succumb to the pressures of society and break their promise to each other "for better or for worse , for richer or for poorer" ?  Will Lesleigh, a freshman in highschool, remain fervent in her zeal ...

Wintertide Tractations: Guard Start. {Disclaimer: I write using pseudonyms for most people and places directly involved with my life.}  Our pastor at Victory Road Baptist Church where my family and I are members has been preaching through the book of Ephesians on Sunday nights.  In our study, Bro. Earl had taught into chapter 5 now and we have encountered the fact that being Spirit-filled will cause us to be thankful, will cause us to sing to ourselves or aloud (despite whether our voices are  "good quality" or not), will make us submissive to each other in the Lord (5:18-21).   Now we are looking to begin those commands that are directed specifically to groups of believers in the church.  Wives are addressed in 5:22-24, husbands in 5:28-33, children in 6:1-3, fathers in 6:4, servants 6:5-8, masters 6:9.   Before we can understand those positions and the responsibilities that the Lord has placed on each, Bro. Earl wanted to reiterate the need to b...

Wintertide Tractations: Ready Start: When one is a child, it's easy to be ready for what is deemed exciting.  Just around the bend an adventure awaits and there's no need for delay or preparation in a child's mind.  "Diving in" and "discovering" are all the focus.  Last night as my family was visiting with our youth pastor's family at a local lights display, Spice expressed eagerness over the nearness of Christmas.  She was ready for it to be here!  Mrs. Wynneth and I laughingly agreed that we were glad for the days we still have until then!   That eager, child-readiness is something I do not want to let go of.  Not the hap-hazard, no-worries kind of mentality, not the childishness.  No, I want the child likeness .  I remember The Grandmother once putting a very definite difference between the two and I've not forgotten it.  Childlikeness.  That anticipation for what's ahead, that sparkle in the eye that loves mystery and sur...

Wintertide Tractations: Grow Start: It's December 17.  Most of you probably already knew that.  Here in the wonderful southern countryside where I live, we've enjoyed lovely warm weather today.  This afternoon my family spent some outside time together.  My parents raked leaves and invited me to join them and Kyrie kept us company on the front steps working on a Christmas gift project we've been hired to do.  {Besides the rush on making the Christmas gifts, we only have two and a half rakes. (Yes, I did say half.  Somehow the handle is not the comfortable normal size.)}  It was delightful outside in the Autumn-like breeze as we raked enthusiastically in our short sleeves. We burned off the garden weeks ago, but Dad's greens are still vibrant against the blackened earth although they have about reached a state of being too tough to eat.  This evening I discovered Dad's row of pepper plants that long ago fell over are still faithfully bearing fruit...

Wintertide Tractations : Other Start: As I mentioned in a previous post , Kyrie is a gift-giver.  Just now as I was in my room, she came in with two clay pitchers/sauce dishes she picked up at a recent garage sale.  She insisted that I take one, knowing that I admired them after the ooing and aahing we did when she showed us her "loot" that evening after the sale.  She knows that I, with my dream of one day having a "white, clapboard farmhouse " like things that are simple, beautiful, and useful, not to mention retro, old-fashioned, or down-to-earth if possible.  (What's more down-to-earth than pottery? *wink*)  And so, she, with her unquenchable giving-ness, made me choose one of the darling clay vessels.   She reminds me of the verse in Philippians, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves" (2:3).   Esteeming "other[s] better than myself" is not something that co...

Good evening!  The word for this Wintertide Tractation is: Ring  Start: Perhaps there are some of you readers who, like me, notice jewelry.  Tonight while I was at church I noticed several of the rings on those women who I associated with this evening and now that this word has come up, I realize that I had subconsciously stashed away the pictures of them.   Our church pianist and I have been working on a duet for Christmas morning and as we sat in close proximity to each other, I noticed her flashy wedding set.  It pleases me.  She is greatly loved by her quiet, thoughtful husband and as a wonderful lady I am glad that he would lavish such upon her.   I noticed another wedding set on my good friend and fellow teacher in the children's class I help with.  She and her husband are frugal.  He works hard so that she can stay home with their children, but yet again I was happy to see the "sparkler" that she wore, a token of his devotio...

It seems that I may have finally gotten caught up with my Wintertide Tractations !  The word for the day is: Wrap. Start. When it comes to gift-giving, I must admit, I struggle.  At times, I'll pass that very special something and think of some friend that I'd love to give it to.  But more often, I come to an important occasion and find myself at a loss as to what to do for the ones I love.  Perhaps it has to do with a budget too narrow to afford what I know they'd like and then a blank brain about anything that might actually fit into my spending amount.  I don't seem wired to be a giver of purchased or handmade items. Kyrie, on the other hand, is a terrific gift-giver.  She peruses little shops and sale racks all year round, spotting items right and left and tucking them away for the perfect occasion and then, voila! she produces a lovely gift that exudes thoughtfulness and love.  Her gifts are often cleverly packaged with some delightful paper or de...

I'm still trying to get caught up with my daily Wintertide Tractations .  The word is Darkness. Start. During this Christmas season when I think of the word Darkness, my mind goes to one of the pieces from my favorite oratorio, Messiah , by Georg Frideric Handel.   The words of one of the movements come from Isaiah 60:2-3, "For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.  And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising." The song opens in deep, almost foreboding tones.  What does this mean that darkness shall cover the earth?  I had never really thought about it; the song wasn't one of my favorites from the CD I have.  But then come the words that turn the song bright, "but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee."  As I pondered the words in bed last night, suddenly, the meani...

For this Wintertide Tractation, I have the privilege of using a word that I love: Nourish Start. I mentioned in my last post that my family went to Atlanta over the weekend.  One of our favorite things to do when we're away from our church is to find a church to attend and this vacation was no exception.  In the morning, my Dad found out about a nice church just around the corner from our hotel.  In the evening we discovered a different one and had an experience that truly nourished my soul.   As we were driving along late that afternoon on an erand, my Mother noticed a sign that indicated that Romanians met for services there.  We were excited, having had friends that served as missionaries in that country for several years.  On our return we decided to stop in.  The Lord worked it out that we were right in time for the night service.  People dressed in their best filed in, greeting each other in Romanian with smiles and hugs.  Many ex...

Hello again! I've gotten behind a bit due to a trip I was blessed to take with my family.  The word for this Wintertide Tractation is Fragile.  Start. We just returned from a trip to Atlanta to participate in the Operation Christmas Child shoe box processing.  It was quite amazing how careful and expedient the whole undertaking is!  One of my jobs was to search the boxes for anything perishable or breakable.  No chocolate, no snacks, and no glass (among other things).  Fragility was the underlying factor.   Life itself is fragile, isn't it?  As we traveled back today I got to talk to a cousin.  The fragility of life struck me hard as she reported that an acquaintance of her family passed away.  It was so sudden.  He had been in a car wreck some months ago, but had seemed to be doing much better...and now this.  Although they had met him before, they barely knew him, having become better friends with his brothers.  S...

 Guess what, folks?!  The ninth of Wintertide Tractations and I am excited to share some photos from our recent family decorating!  The word is, very appropriately, Twinkle! Start. Little did Kyrie know, when I asked her to come up with 31 words for me to write about back in October, that her little sister would be writing about them in December and the word Twinkle would be drawn the day after we finally got our Christmas ornaments out.  Yes, my sweet family kindly waited 'til I was done with my last final of the semester to put out our decorations for the season!  It felt so strange: listening to Christmas music, practicing Christmas songs at church for our Cantata, seeing lights and signs of the season in yards and at school...and having absolutely nothing adorning our home to affirm that, yes, Christmas is actually here again! Now school is out and the festivities have begun! I guess I have to add, Kyrie helped out with a yard sale a few days ago and found ...

Hello, folks! I've gotten a tad behind with my Wintertide Tractations Please excuse me.  Due to studying late Wednesday night for a final, I missed that day's word and did it yesterday.  Therefore, the word for yesterday was Height.  So without further ado, Start! Before my mother's mother met her husband, my mother's father, she dreamed of marrying a tall man.  She was about 5' 9" when she was in her early twenties (I was trying to remember if this was right and asked Kyrie and she, without knowing what I thought the Grandmother's height was, gave the same number!).  The Grandmother had certain preferences when it came to shoe height and she hoped that she would marry a man who would be taller than her when she wore her four-inch heels.  I smile as I think about it: the Lord allowed that youthful dream of the Grandmother's to be realized when she met and married the Grandfather, a tall, handsome man.   Because I've been measured right around the ...

Wow! Already it's been a week since starting Wintertide Tractations !  Here is: Plant. Start. When I came to this word, I was stumped.  "Planting" is not something I typically think of at Christmastime.  Sure, my dad's greens that he planted for the autumn season are thriving, especially after the abundant rain the Lord sent us recently.  But greens aren't what automatically come to mind when I think of Christmas, and admittedly, Christmas is primarily on my mind these days.  Especially since my last final of this semester was today, Christmas break and celebrating the beauty of the season with my family and friends is at the top of my mental list.  But there's another type of planting that should never go out-of-season in my mind.  That is, planting seeds of the Gospel.  The Gospel is the good news that Jesus Christ, God's Son, became a Man, grew up, suffered a human existence without any sin, invested His whole life into undeserving people....

For this Wintertide Tractation , the word is Utmost. Start. When I hear or see the word "Utmost", I typically think of the title to Oswald Chambers' well-known volume, My Utmost for His Highest .   While I've never read the book, the title alone causes me to pause and self-reflect.   What would it mean if I gave "my utmost" to Almighty God?   As a believer, it would stand to reason that I already should be doing that.  Oftentimes, though, as awful as it is to admit, I hold back from the Lord what is rightfully His.  Our dear pastor at Victory Rd., Bro. Earl, preached Sunday night on the topic of submission from Ephesians 5.  Never before had submission looked so beautiful as he verbally took us step-by-step through what it means to be submissive to each other.  Not only is it not weakness , it is true strength as we consider our abilities and apply them to serving others unselfishly for the sake of our Lord's Name!  So what would "my utm...

Today is the fifth of my Wintertide Tractations; thanks for stopping by!   (If you're curious about the backstory of the word Tractations , you can follow this link.)    I haven't gotten far into the month, but this is the most thought-provoking and unexpected of Kyrie's words so far, today's is: My Start.   As I listened to the words of one of my new favorite Christmas songs, ("I Am" from the CD Everlasting Savior  by Sarah Mikowski, Anna, & Faith Hainline), I couldn't help but be swept away.  The soaring music, beautiful sister-harmony, and the words of the song reminds me again what a blessed Daughter of the King of kings that I am!  The Lord gave me the opportunity to talk with one of my classmates from Spanish class the other day.  A few weeks ago, I overheard her talking with some others in the class about some of her decisions and wondered what she would consider her spiritual health to be.  We got to have a little conve...

Good evening, the word for this fourth Wintertide Tractation is Way.   Start. I had hoped that my father and I could visit a new friend of ours this evening following church.  The man is a security guard at a local rest stop and we became acquainted with him back about July when my family and I were on an outing.  After awhile, Dad and I hit on a routine that we try to visit the man, (I'll call him Mr. Justice), every two or three weeks.  Mr. Justice is a gentlemanly gentleman, but he has a very serious problem.  He has never been able to come to terms with the loss of his wife at the age of fifty.  Now in his mid-eighties his bitterness at God has made him blind to what the Lord is doing in his life.   I understand loss that is painful and permanent, but I also have been blessed to have the presence of my loving Heavenly Father on Whom I can lean even through times that are hard and heart-wrenching.  Mr. Justice's case is not singular....

Hello! Third day of Wintertide Tractations .  The word is Middle. Start. Today Kyrie and I participated with our church's outreach, handing out gift bags to the children in a nearby neighborhood.  Our youth pastor and his wife led the delivery and three of their children joined in the group that went.  Their daughter, Spice, is the middle child, being sandwiched between two boys older than her and two younger.  Spice is merry, like pumpkin spice, full of delight and wonderfulness.  Across her cheeks is a sprinkle of freckles, like nutmeg spice on the top of a creamy goblet of eggnog.  Her light brown eyes glow and study the world with curiosity and a measure of analysis that makes me feel like she knows far more than we adults imagine.  At seven, she's smart, mischievous, and wiggled her way into my heart a few weeks after her family arrived back in April.  For some reason, Spice attached herself to me and I loved having her catch up to me time af...